How to distinguish lust from love
If you are “falling in love” with someone, how do you know if it’s love or lust? For example, the emotions of lust and love may be similar, but different in the process. It can be difficult, but it’s important to learn how to find out if you are in love or lust because you can better appreciate the amount of energy, effort and investment that you want to make in a long-term relationship. If you are interested, you may not want to participate, for example, someone is looking to the future or has an emotionally deep relationship. In romantic love it is normal to have a healthy appetite for a partner.
However, if you have a strong desire to have sexual intercourse without spending time together, focusing on physical satisfaction rather than emotional satisfaction, it might indicate lust. Numerous studies using technology methods have shown that the brains of drug addicts shine in the same area as lust light up the brain. The fact that hormones associated with lust and chemicals in the brain are unconscious means that it can be difficult to get rid of addiction in the early stages.
In love, the main thing is to be part of each other’s life and enjoy together. Lust, along with healthy intimacy, meets your physical needs to satisfy your emotional needs. Love is complicated. You understand. The combination of emotions, actions and beliefs associated with love, protection, warmth and strong respect for others. According to urban dictionary: love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone.
It’s when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone, you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes, because that’s how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.
Here’s what experts says:
- It is right. It is very important to have sex during love. However, if you feel only this sexual attraction, and not a deep relationship, this may mean lust, not love. Think about whether you want to emotionally connect with your new partner because you can tell the difference between pleasure and love.
- “Love is rooted in delayed gratification, while lust is rooted in instant pleasure. Lust feels like sprinting; love feels like a marathon. Love means acceptance; lust means indulgence.” ― Janet Brito, a psychologist and sex therapist
- If you want to keep things careless and not dig deep emotions. If you have a good sex life, but you don’t have an emotional relationship and you cannot open up yourself, it can be passion, not love. If you are ready for sex anytime, but have little interest in conversation, this is not love. If you love someone, you need to support and express your needs.
- “Lust is a state of mind that focuses on body parts, seduction, power, fantasy and excitement. Love is risky and scary on an emotional level. You’re becoming very real and vulnerable with them, trusting them with your fears and hopes, sharing stories of shame and pride, hope and disappointment, and really letting yourself be known. Love is letting your guard down and granting your partner access to areas you don’t even like to visit.” ― Ryan Howes, clinical psychologist.
- When you fall in love, you’re willing to sacrifice more than you can think of to your partner. If you fall in love, you are ready to sacrifice almost everything for the sake of others, it could harm you or cause great discomfort, because you put your partner in the first place.
- “Love is rooted in attachment and bonding that grows over time. Lust is rooted in intense desire and fades over time. Lust feels like a rollercoaster of emotions driven by biological forces and activated by our reward center, driven by desire for pleasure and connection. Love feels like the desire and need for attachment with biological, sociocultural, and psychological factors that determine its development.” ― Shannon Chavez, psychologist and sex therapist.
- Love is not about only giving but also investing in others. Therefore, instead of taking care of yourself, you will think about what you can do as a whole. When you start planning for the future around two people, you will see that you are really interested in this person.
In addition to brain chemistry, how do you know that the sensations you experience are more focused on love, pleasure, and fierce interest? Contact a relationship expert to better understand the differences between them.
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